I stare at the mirror wishing I can look inside of myself and be able to fix anything that is broken or slightly mangled. I have these thoughts swimming inside my mind, reeking havoc like hurricane Irma and Harvey dancing together leaving nothing behind but taking every good thought that is in its way and shredding it into pieces with no mercy leaving me breathless as if a guss of their wind is choking me. I try to breathe in and out it slowly. But honestly, it’s not helping I can slowly feel all my emotions choking me. I see all this commotion in the world and wonder have I been the person I was supposed to be? If tomorrow disaster strikes and the world was done would I be happy with how I lived? If I was found dead like Kenneka Martin betrayed by my closest friends or family, may she rest in peace would I be able to say that I took care of all the things that were torn inside of me? Did I live my life everyday life like it was my last? Did I truly let God rule my heart? Or was I spectator who only sat on the sidelines? Anxiety and peace cannot and will never be able to cohabitate. That’s like saying that good and evil can be one.
The only way to have peace is knowing where you are going. The only way to have peace is by surrendering everything that is a hindrance in your walk. I don’t know about you but I know the storm with my thoughts are at peace now because I have the one who gives me peace and I do not want to waste my time in this world acting like the world ..I want to be and live like I was intended to.